


Lost

by Perseia



Series: My dearest little brother, I suppose this outcome was destined to happen. [1]
Category: The Originals (TV), The Vampire Diaries & Related Fandoms
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Feels, Dirty Talk, Dreamscapes, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post Season 3 Finale, Sibling Incest, Sibling Love, always and forever, conflicted elijah, guilty Elijah, insecure kol, lonely kol, mikaelson feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-08-09 09:06:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 10,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7795717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perseia/pseuds/Perseia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Elijah and Kol Mikaelson. Kol, as diabolical as he is, searches for his siblings' attention and love - especially Elijah's. He turns to drastic measures to garner his brother's attention; tempt him to sleep with him.<br/>And Elijah, surprisingly, lets himself be tempted.</p><p>What emotion blossoms from there is unexpected and impossible, but it is there: Love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Elijah

Elijah’s care for his family is intrinsic; the need to protect is written in his bones. Though he may be the third child, because Freya was long lost and Finn was much too aloof, he had assumed the role of big brother for Klaus, Rebekah, Kol, and Henrik. 

For centuries, excluding the years that he was daggered by Niklaus, he stood by his surviving siblings. He watched them degenerate into beasts, their humanity dissipating twofold by decades. The worst, however, was Niklaus and Kol. They were both insufferable and impulsive, wasteful in their hunts. As they enjoyed tempting with fate, he was the one dealing with collateral damages and covering up their tracks. 

He could not understand their insistence for mindless violence. 

But what troubled him the most was his brother’s behavior. His normal occupation would be to search for Nikalus’s redemption, but the lesser pursued one was to tame Kol and his insatiable desires for trouble. As if wrecking bloodshed and spreading gore wherever he walked was not enough, Kol had grown the need to bed Elijah. After a thousand years, morals for them was bound to become gray. And it has, quite shamefully for Elijah, become gray enough for incest.

He could not deny the pleasure he received by seeing Kol submit to him, opening himself up in ways that he never had before. And in the morning afters, Kol was gentler and relaxed, his face almost that of the innocent brother that he had been centuries ago. So though he could never admit their relationship in public, they sought out nights of passion and fleeting moments of love that he could not precisely label. 

These nights have accumulated over time, and now, after all the painful ordeals he and his family was and is going through, Elijah couldn’t tell one pain from another. There’s a tightness in his chest that he thinks is only from losing Haley and the nearing demise of Mikaelsons. But the pain when he thinks about seeing his Kol dead is quite too poignant. He thinks of the moments when Kol was dead, inhabiting another body, dead, and then resurrected again only to be cursed to kill his loved one, and he finds his emotions running wild. Burning up from the venomous bite in his arm that Marcellus gave him, Elijah was feeling mildly lost.


	2. Kol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kol's POV, sort of, over the years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kol's point of view, so to say. Might be a bit of a bore, but I thought this was necessary. Now that I've got got both of them to the part where they are dying from Marcel's part, I can start writing about them in the Dreamscape, which is where this story truly begins. 5 years with no Niklaus, no enemies, and only siblings. That leaves a lot of room for things to happen.

Kol was, in a sense, a black sheep in his family. He was the only child to live up to his witch heritage, and he absolutely adored doing magic. His mother was disappointed that Rebekah, the darling little girl of the family, did not become a witch, but she was pleased to see that at least he had her powers. Those were happy times; his life had been filled with fleeting moments of joy when he had been human.

Then the curse befell them. Nature scorned him, his power abandoned him, and his parents were no more. He was cursed to a life of eternal misery with a haughty Finn, an overly rational Elijah, a feeble minded Nik, and a whiny Rebekah. His life was ruined, yet he had no time to recollect his bearings. 

They went from place to place, traveling in vain to outrun father. He wished that he could be free from his siblings - perhaps then, he would be free from Mikael’s wrath and he could find a way to regain his magic. But he stayed. He stayed out of his respect for his older brother, Elijah. Elijah the levelheaded one, the one holding their tenuous bond of family together. A handful of year older than him, Elijah was old enough to take care of him in ways that Mikael never did; a father figure for all of his younger siblings.  
Kol had always sought attention from him in ways that he never did from Mikael. And he knew of the closeness that Rebekah, Klaus, and Elijah shared, and he wished to breach that close bond so that he could share it with them. 

But he never could break that bond of Always and Forever. He was a troublemaker, both as a witch and as a vampire. If Elijah had any fondness for him when he screwed up with magic, he had none for Kol’s bloody ordeal. He knew Elijah disapproved of his lack of restraint, but he didn’t understand. Perhaps it was because he was a witch - the one most in tune with nature - that the curse happened to plague him much further. He needed that rush in his blood, the only thing similar to the power that he could never have again. The bloodlust was too much; the need to consume, to burn, to pillage and suck and leech people dry was overwhelming. 

And so, wreckage followed them, partly their own doing and partly by their estranged father. 

And over centuries, his family degenerated; they had all become beasts of their own, plagued by their past. Everything was always the same, yet altogether different. 

By the 13th century, he gave up on being family and left Elijah and his siblings to travel and reconnect with magic.

Realizing that he had no chance of regaining his powers, he returned in late 17th century. 

It was then that he acted upon his want for Elijah’s attention. If brotherly affection was something he could not gain, then he would achieve it in other ways. 

He may as well have threw himself upon Elijah, albeit in the most subtle way possible, and Elijah, surprisingly, reciprocated. Elijah, the noble one engaged in incest? Kol himself had been doubtful, but the stressful centuries with only Rebekah and Klaus to engage with seemed to have changed him. 

In his woken, undaggered years, over the next centuries, they’d kiss and fuck discretely when possible. He didn’t know where they were headed in this absurd relationship, but he was happily lost. Something was better than nothing.

But then he was ripped away from the world, only to reconcile with his despicable mother and brought back to life. He thought he found love in Davina, but he died again. And when he lived, Davina was gone by his own doing. 

Now, as he lay dying from Marcel’s bite, he feels more lost than ever. Everything he cared about is now lost. He feels his brief moment of lucidity flailing away, and chooses to look at Elijah. He's slowly inspecting his arm, and is much more controlled than Kol is, even as he, too, is dying. Elijah looks deep in thought and rather unapproachable, but Kol thinks that he’d like to touch him. Perhaps that would quell his agony. 

Before he does, there are spots in front of his vision and he finds himself slipping from consciousness. 

He doesn't wake up again.


	3. [Dreamscape]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elijah POV.  
> Rather more an explanatory chapter, I suppose. Not much plot.  
> First day of dream world straight after they woke up in it.

The Dreamscape was discerningly natural. One moment he was barely keeping himself lucid, and in the next moment - absolute serenity. The house was picture perfect, the air was fragrant from the flowers in the garden, and the land was spacious. Freya explained that the dreamscape was her design, and Elijah did not bother questioning her further. 

As Kol and Freya left, engaged in mild conversation, he went to check up on Rebekah.

She was distraught at the thought of Niklaus’s sacrifice, and he had to admit that it did not bode well with him either. But he was glad that his brother has come so far; Niklaus Mikaelson would not have sacrificed himself for family, even just a few years ago. There was a small part of him that thought that this was, in a sense, Niklaus’s way of paying back for all those years he daggered his siblings. He kept that to himself. No need to distress his sister further.

He sat by Rebekah for a while, holding her tight, enjoying the garden and breathing in the fresh air. As he held her, he was concerned about how his family was going to function by themselves, and about what would become of Haley and Hope. The irony of safety within their darkest hour was not lost on him. Over a thousand of years, there has never been a time when they had no one out to hurt them. Here, they had all the time in the world to just be themselves. There was no need for compulsion or for power plays, or to be wary of their backs and cleaning up others’ messes here. 

 

The sun slowly set as his thoughts grew, and twilight was approaching by the time they had all gathered at the house. Kol and Freya were already there, and Rebekah hugged each of them tightly without a word. The evening was still young, but Rebekah retired early to bed. Sensing her distress, they let her. 

As Elijah took account of his surroundings, he truly did appreciate his sister’s work. It was a lovely house, elegantly decorated but homely at the same time, complete with rich cream walls that was adorned with antique clocks and scenic paintings. A simple chandelier hung in the dining room, next to a charming minimalistic kitchen, and the living room was furnished with plush burgundy sofas and elaborately patterned carpets paired with the mahogany coffee table. The wooden staircase led up to the middle of a hallway, where four spacious bedrooms and a large library were. Rebekah and Freya took up the west wing while Kol and Elijah resided in the east wing by the library. 

They spoke of nothings that night, silently agreeing to not talk of their future at the moment. At one point, Kol was joking about what a shame that there was no one to use the kitchen properly, seeing as none of them were excellent cooks. Freya, who had already learned to ignore Kol’s antiques, did talk about how their desire for physically mundane things such as feeding have decreased slightly because their bodies are mere representation of their minds. 

Their bloodlust would be weak in this dream world. 

Elijah did not miss how Kol’s response missed a beat at that comment. Freya, largely oblivious at the subtle change, or too uncomfortable to point it out, decided to go to bed early; the magic took a lot out of her. As they all retired into their respective bedrooms, Elijah spared a fleeting glance at Kol before their doors closed.

 

The heavy doors carried an air of finality to it.


	4. Unease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elijah POV.

A week has passed in cautious tedium, restlessness brewing under all of their skin. Rebekah, Freya and Kol were talking animatedly about something, and though the shades still lingered under their smiles, he thought he saw a glimmer of hope. He dares to hope that this time, after Hayley saves them, that his family will have a period of happiness. It is hypocritical and it is unjust. He knows that. But Elijah is only selfish, and he thinks that they deserve it for all the pain they had, have, and will endure.

But beyond the salvation of his family, there is something nagging under his mind. Something other than how Hayley and Hope are doing - not that he didn’t, for he often did - or how Niklaus is suffering, or how Marcellus is now nearly invincible. No, the little nagging points to Kol. 

There is an uncomfortable snake of unease, twisting and curling inside of him. As his mind wanders to Hayley, he cannot help but think of Davina and Kol. 

He had done it. He’d allowed it to happen; all under the name of family, yes, and he will do it all over again if he must, for their lives are infinite while others’ are not. There are always loves in their lives, rather it be fleeting or ending in violence. 

That is his belief. But there is a sliver of whisper, a gently prodding doubt at the depth of his mind. He knows Davina was special like he knows Hayley is special to himself, and there is a part that expands beyond feeling guilty to Kol; He is genuinely regretful that Kol had to experience such loss, and he fears that maybe, just maybe, there will not be another for Kol.  
His brother never did do much with love in the past. 

 

Looking at Kol smiling so beautifully in front of him, he feels the snake curling up around his heart.


	5. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elijah POV.  
> Elijah and Kol shares an intimate moment, I suppose. Kol's bright facade have shattered under a nightmare and Elijah is there for him.

The snake of unease is hissing in victory, and he knows, knows he should have paid more attention. 

Blinded by hope, he refused to see. A careless mistake that he thought he was done doing decades ago, at the very least.

 

It was a mistake to believe that Kol was alright.

 

He hears the first sob as he is reading some old volume from the library in his room. The cry is unmistakably Kol’s, and his heart contracts as he speeds to Kol’s door. The frantic fear subsides into concern when he flings the door open and finds Kol curled up in a fetal position in his bed, face scrunched up with anguish. Elijah is immediately by his brother’s side, intending to soothe him. But he falters as he takes the scene in front of him in.

The navy blue sheets are tangled with his long limbs, pulled tightly up to his chin. The room is dark, illuminated only by moonlight meekly bleeding through the cracks of the curtain. His little brother looks almost invisible in the darkness of the room and the sheets that he is almost afraid that he will dissipate from this fake world. 

He thinks that maybe that is what Kol would want, and he chides himself for such thoughts, but he knows he may not be wrong. 

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, he reaches out to Kol and tries to wake Kol up. But as he places his hand on his shoulder, he realizes just how acutely tense his muscles are and he feels slightly out of place. He hesitates. He is used to Kol being a “mess”, so to say. But those were times when he cleaned up his brother’s trail of bodies and wiped him of stale blood, not cleaning up the remnants of his broken heart. 

Still, he knows he must intervene now that he knows. 

“Kol…. Wake up, brother.” he forcefully whispers as he tries to gently disentangle Kol from his fetal position. Kol’s hands are wrapped around himself so forcefully like a vice that he is unsure of how to comfort him. Forgoing his previous plans of pulling him into an embrace, he sits at the edge of the soft bed and strokes Kol’s wild hair and rough cheeks. 

“Kol, it is only a dream. Whatever vision haunts you in your dreams, it is not real.” He murmurs as he lowers his body, leaning onto his left elbow and bringing his face closer to Kol’s. He hopes his whispers and soft gestures are enough, but there’s a low burn in his chest when he knows he cannot tell Kol that it will be alright. That time ended a millennium ago.

He is by Kol’s side for a while like that, caught in a moment of pain that is transcendent of time, where it is only him and Kol, no one else. 

It breaks when he feels the sheets loosen, and he is suddenly pulled into a painful embrace. Elijah thinks Kol is barely awake when he latches onto him, holding onto him as he held himself together just moments ago.

“Kol?” He hesitantly asks. It is a rare moment when Elijah Mikaelson is unsure on how to proceed.

“‘Lijah...” Kol breathes out against his chest, the ghost of his exhale felt through the fabric of his nightshirt. 

Elijah cautiously pulls Kol tighter into him, and the sheets are now pulled down to Kol’s abdomen. Kol’s legs are still bent but is curled against Elijah’s, and he is thankful that the terrible moment have passed. He presses soft kisses against Kol’s damp hair and his pale forehead. He feels Kol nuzzling into his chest, and for now, the snake that stubbornly sat on his heart have slithered away. He imagines a better future, not for his family and not for Hope and Hayley, or for himself, but for Kol alone, and tries to put that hope into his kisses, hoping that it will radiate off his body and transfer itself to his brother. 

He thinks there’s slight dampness against his chest, but Kol refuses to look up. Whispering sweet nothings and rubbing idle patterns into Kol’s back, he feels the slight trembles reside as Kol is lulled back to sleep.

 

He thinks Kol feels more relaxed, and he is content enough with that for now.


	6. Morning after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning after the nightmare.

Elijah woke up in Kol’s bed the next morning, but Kol was nowhere to be found. He returned to his room to get ready for the day, and when he went downstairs to the kitchen, he only found his sisters there.

“Rebekah, Freya, good morning. Have you by any chance seen Kol?”

“Yeah, he went outside some time ago. I was quite amazed to see him up so early,” Rebekah answered.

“Oh? Perhaps he’s bored of this place already.” 

He throws an offhand comment about Kol’s absence, but he’s concerned about how his brother is doing. His sisters seems unaware of last night’s ordeals, and he supposes that is for the best. Freya is busy cooking, and Rebekah is trying to make juice out of oranges, so he lingers for a while and shares a packet of blood with Rebekah before he excuses himself to go out on a stroll.

He hasn’t bothered to check out the expanse of land yet, so he’s not sure where Kol is but he tries to follow his faint scent. After weaving around some rose bushes, a bed of tulip, and a patch of chrysanthemums, he comes across a large oak tree on a small hill. Kol is sitting on the lowest branch looking uncharacteristically small, staring out to the horizon where the sun is slowly climbing its way up in the clear blue sky. 

“Kol,” he calls out. 

“Ah, Elijah. Come to see if I’m brewing any troubles out on my own?” His brother answeres a beat too late, but when he turns around to reply his face is already arranged into his cheeky trademark grin as if last night never happened at all.

He’s hesitant to ask, but he knows that he must.  
“Kol, about last night - ”

“Last night? Don’t worry, brother. I was just being a little silly.” 

Kol is too quick to dismiss, and that only makes Elijah persistent.

“Don’t be so flippant about it Kol, what I saw was not some mundane silliness. ”

“Then what shall I say, Elijah? What shall I? You can’t solve everything.” There’s a crack in his smile, and there’s a spark missing from his eyes. Kol turns his body to look away from him and Elijah can’t stand it.

“I can try to mend things. Please, brother.” Stepping closer to Kol, he vaults on the tree branch and tries to plead, placing his hand on Kol’s shoulder. 

Kol's muscles immediately tense up at his touch, as if he's getting ready to flee.

“Stop it Elijah," Kol spats out. "What am I, a replacement for Klaus? Do you need another brother to save to fulfill your odd hero complex while your favorite one is absent?” 

His brother’s eyes are now blazing with anger, unknown emotions simmering underneath, and he doesn’t know how to reply. The bitterness in Kol’s voice is painful, and though he has heard this voice many times before, there’s a certain ferocity, a raw hurt, now. He realizes now that perhaps even Kol’s madness and wreckage had all been veiled behind a thin sheet of control.

“No, Kol. I never did not care. You are not a replacement. You need to know that.” He doesn’t know what to say, so he just answers with honesty.

“And what would you do Elijah?” Kol’s eyes burns into his heart. 

“Davina is dead, and we may as well be dead. I still hate Freya for what she did to Davina, and I am glad we have a niece but she will grow to hate me too, and I loathe Hayley like I loathed Marcellus.” 

Elijah nearly flinches when he hears Davina’s name, and Kol’s words are like daggers into his soul. His brother is wounded from his own neglect, and that is a great burden that he must bear. How to fix a thousand year of anguish and misunderstandings? He wondered if it was even possible.

“And most of all, I want to hate you, Elijah. I want to.” He feels like he’s pulled out of a trance when he hears that. After all that he’s done….

“You don’t hate me, Kol?” He says his thought out loud before he can catch himself. 

Glaring at him with the oddest expression, somewhere between wonder and sorrow and hatred, Kol jumps of the branch and stalks off, his strides too powerful and rigid. 

The sunlight glints off his brown hair, and Elijah, unable to do anything else, watches him walk away in silent contemplation. There's an ache in his chest, and he wishes he could do everything over again. He thought he was long past what ifs, but his lifetimes of past haunts him without rest. 

It is a long while before Elijah heads back to his family.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I hope you don't mind the short chapters. I'm busy with school work, but I'm trying to update when I can, so it all ends up being quite short. I'm trying to weave the story into being as realistic as possible, and non OOC as I can. Hopefully Kol's outburst doesn't clash with your view of him. 
> 
> I personally imagined that Kol is emotionally volatile right now, and that he's less inclined to hide his feelings because  
> a. He really can't do that anymore because although he made peace with Davina dying, he's still grieving and everything.  
> b. It's only family there, there's no klaus and no other problems, and the whole bloodlust sort of thing should be weak in dreamscape so there's nothing else distracting him.


	7. Cautious peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some filler context.

Their days pass by in tedium. 

Freya cooks, and Rebekah helps her. Despite her dislike of helping mother with cooking when they were young, Rebekah is actually quite good at it. Kol pokes in to interrupt them sometimes, and the two youngest siblings always end up squabbling. The kitchens a mess of flour and eggs by the time they are done, but no one actually meant harm, so Elijah and Freya - who fled from the kitchen - just enjoys watching them fight. The two of them clean it up after a bit of chiding and pouting anyways. None of them needs food anymore except for Freya, but they’re tastebuds aren’t exactly gone, so when some actual cooking is done (most often by Freya) they enjoy a bite or two of whatever is created. 

Kol is often poking fun at Rebekah, and he talks about witchcraft with Freya. Sometimes Rebekah joins, and she seems somewhat interested in it as she lived as a witch for a while. Elijah doesn’t miss how Kol’s mouth sometimes tightens, just the slightest, when he speaks with Freya, but he doesn’t do anything necessarily diabolical, so he lets him be. There are shades hanging below Kol's eyelids, but no one bothers prying. They all have their own demons. 

Meanwhile, Elijah reads at the library, the living room, his bedroom, and outside. There are great literatures, theories and philosophical ideologies that he has missed out on reading because of all the things that occupied his life. It has been a long time since he had time to himself. All his life, he had to plan. Plan to keep his siblings safe from Mikael, plan to erase his family's traces, plan to fit into new places without questions, plan to best avoid Mikael, plan to calm Niklaus’s wrath, plan to bring Niklaus’s redemption, plan to keep those precious to him safe from harm. He misses Hayley and Hope, and he’s concerned about Niklaus. But in all honesty, he is glad to have this time of solitude for himself. 

As for Kol and him, it is a week of tension. They cautiously avoid each other, and though they act natural, their sisters see through it and sense that something is wrong. But they are kind enough to not address it at the moment, so their days go on uneventfully. Rebekah is shooting him glances to “fix it” every once in awhile, but Elijah thinks that may be for the best for now. He needs to work out how to approach Kol, and since he has times of actual solitude, he can focus on Kol now. There were things that Kol said that he cannot get out of his head, and he finds himself replaying that morning and all the things Kol did in the past. 

They are both avoiding talking to each other in general, but Elijah likes to think of it as strategic retreat. He does not like being unprepared.

 

Another three days pass before he is forced to face Kol, earlier than he would have liked.


	8. Of nightmares and regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still in Elijah POV, Kol and Elijah share another intimate moment. Elijah feels heavy with guilt.

It is some time over midnight that Kol stumbles into his room. 

Elijah was still up, and he hears the unevenness of Kol’s footsteps and is by his door when Kol opens it. For a moment, he takes in the state his brother is in. Kol’s clad in loose pajama pants and an old t shirt, but he’s trembling as if he’s cold. He’s looking down, but his expression, much like that night some days ago, is crumpled and wet, undried tears still glistening at the edge of his eyes. Elijah immediately takes him into his arms, holding onto him tightly. He feels Kol’s shaky hands wrapping around his back, and they both stand there for a while in front of the opened door. It feels so natural that he feels foolish over the last few days of uncertainties.

The crook of his neck, where Kol is resting his head, feels increasingly damp. But after a while, Kol stops trembling so much, so he releases his right arm from Kol just the slightest to close his door. Kol finally raises his head at the movement, his arms still holding onto Elijah. He is still unable to dry his tears, so Elijah, with an ache in his chest, tightens his arm around Kol and gently wipes away his tears with his right hand. He continues to stroke his cheek, waiting for him to calm. Every inch of them are pressed together, and Elijah wishes he could hold his brother like this forever and protect him from his demons. 

There is a part of him that whispers irony, that it is nonsense for monsters to fear demons. But this is his little brother, and he’d gladly carry all of Kol’s sins if only to erase some of his pain. 

Yet there’s a deeper part of him taunting that he himself may be one of Kol’s demons. The things he’d done in the name of family. How could he have failed all of them so? 

Finn, Rebekah, Niklaus, Kol.

Kol.

Kol. His little brother. Bright, blithe, scalding. A creature of lightness and darkness. A rash hedonist without restraint, pursuing endeavors that nearly resembles the cruelness of a child who knows no right or wrong. His little brother, who he’d written off as the wild one. 

There had never been a quest to save him, for he had the arrogance to think Kol’s nature as imprudent and violent. Kol was a raucous child, the magic running through his veins powerful and impulsive. He’d always caused trouble as a human, and Elijah fondly labeled him the troublesome one. Later, after vampirism, he affirmably labeled him so with distaste. 

But he’d forgotten in his annoyance, in his desperation, in his fear at his dissipating family and Niklaus’s growing violence, that Kol was not a child with malice. He never was cruel. Kol made silly mistakes and took things too far, but he was never malicious. But that slipped by him. While Kol transformed himself into a bloodthirsty beast, he thought nought of it. He turned his eyes; he tried to reform Niklaus, who he had branded as the sweet one.

He turned his eyes; he thought Kol a disgrace.

And here they are, a hypocrite holding on to the remnants of his brother. Elijah was certain that his greatest goal in life was to save Niklaus from himself. Now he is certain that his his greatest sin is failing Kol.

He feels Kol leaning his face onto his palm, and he impulsively trails kisses down the side of Kol’s face not protected by his touch. There’s a surge of protectiveness and tenderness that overrides sorrow and regret, and his body heavy with heartbreak, he kisses Kol.

He kisses him with every apology and love he has, and Kol is pliant and receptive, the haunting rigidness that neither of them even realized finally seeping off of him. He gives and he gives, pouring his will to protect and to cherish, and Kol drinks it all in like a starved man. 

Tongues clashing, lips biting, they are no longer static. Somehow Kol’s hands have slipped under his night shirt, and his own hands are roaming Kol’s broad back and is cradling his face. He takes a fervent step and pushes Kol against the walI, and it really has been too long since they’ve touched. He feels overwhelmed by Kol, of his scent and touch. It’s a breath of fresh air after all the recent events, and it takes him all too long to stop himself from taking Kol right there. 

He pulls away and places his hands gently on Kol’s shoulders.

“Elijah?” Kol tentatively calls out in a hoarse voice. His tears now dry, he’s slightly flushed. His lips are glistening and swollen, and his brown hair is a disastrous mess that Elijah wants to fuss over.

Controlling himself, he answers.

“I think it is best if we stop here, Kol. You’re distraught. We shouldn’t be engaging in any of these actions right now. I apologize; it’s my mistake.”

“Because of Hayley?” Kol immediately asks, his eyes hardening. Elijah honestly didn’t even have time to think of Hayley, who had happened so recently. Reprimanding himself, he pulls away, but Kol catches his wrists and stares defiantly into his eyes.

“Kiss me, Elijah. Kiss me and spend the night with me. Like we always did.” There’s a new spark in his eyes that stops Elijah from stepping away. It draws Elijah in, though he thinks it might be just Kol himself that has that effect on him. But as much as he wants to follow Kol’s demands, he knows he cannot. 

“Not tonight, Kol. We’ll talk about this. About us. Later. ”

He presses a fleeting kiss on Kol’s now un-swollen lips before he retorts, and tucks him into his bed when he lets his wrists go. Kol looks entirely unhappy, but now that there are no traces of crying on his face, he looks like a disgruntled puppy, fluffy hair and all, enough to make Elijah bury his guilt for the moment. All he can do is to look at him with a soft smile. When he turns off the light and pulls him in for yet another embrace in bed, Kol lets himself be held with a resigned huff. Having him in his grasp, he feels grounded, not quite so uncertain as he did for the past few days. 

His faults laid out and the subject of his greatest sin held in his arms, he remembers breathing Kol in before he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to end this in a light-ish note. Hopefully everything makes sense. Comments are welcomed!


	9. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elijah and Kol's relationship is starting to take a new turn.

He feels the sun grazing his face, and he slowly blinks at the familiar weight in his arms. This time, he wakes up with Kol by his side, or rather, on his chest. It’s such a familiar sight that it almost feels normal; it’s the sight he had the privilege of waking up to in the past. Sleeping in is not his thing, but he stays there with Kol, studying his face for as long as he can. 

Kol looks gentle, his expressive face almost uncharacteristically smooth. There’s a prickling thought of yesterday’s events on his mind, and he considers leaving the bed before deciding against it.

He promised to talk with Kol, but he’s not sure of what he will or can say. He loved Hayley. He did. He cared for her and he wanted her to be happy, most preferrably with him. But he also knows what he thought yesterday is true. Hayley happened so recently, especially compared to his long life and his history with Kol, that he doesn’t know who he will… choose, so to say, if it comes down to it. 

He and Kol were something for years. It was an addiction, an outlet, and it was their way of mending. He can’t deny that they had some sort of a relationship, though no one else knows. But still, he wants a monogamous relationship with Hayley, who he had so adored over the last few years, and he knows that that is what she will want and is what she deserves. He’s thankful that this issue is not of immediate concern as they will be stuck in the Dreamscape for a while, but he does feel rather disturbed. He’d do anything that Kol or Hayley wants. He doesn’t know what he will do if their wishes - and really, his, too - clashes. 

The light shining on his bed slowly moves, and thankfully his sisters don’t bother asking for him or Kol. After a while, he hears them leaving the house. Kol is still asleep in his arms, and he suspects that it has been a long time since Kol had any decent hours of sleep. 

He lies there trying to figure out what will be best for Kol and how he can help, his anxiety calmed by the weight and warmth of his brother in his arms. 

Eventually near midday Kol stirs, twisting against Elijah’s arms. He smiles fondly down at his brother, who is still bleary eyed. 

  

“Did you sleep well?”

“...Elijah? Why am I…?”

“I thought I’d let you sleep. It has been a long time since I saw you so peaceful.”

“Lifetimes ago,” he grunted in agreement. 

“No nightmares, I hope?”

“No. None. Thank you, I suppose.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Yeah, a little.”

He reached out to the little fridge underneath his bedside table and pulled a blood bag out and gave it to Kol. 

“About yesterday,” Kol speaks with the slightest hesitation after drinking some blood. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll always be there for your nightmares if you so wished.”

“No - not that I’m not grateful, brother - but us. What is to become of us? What even are we?”

“You never beat around the bushes, do you?”Elijah asked with a taut smile.

“No. I really can’t.”

“Well, Kol. I have Hayley. I don’t know when we’ll be freed from this slumber, but I don’t think we should pursue what we had before.” At this, Kol immediately tries to pull himself away, but Elijah holds his forearms before he runs away.

“Know I care about you, Kol. And I do love you.” he said as he looked into Kol’s stormy eyes. 

“But not enough to make love to me.”

“Kol,” Elijah pleads aimlessly. He doesn’t know what to say, but he doesn’t want to hurt him.

“No, brother. You’re right. Drop it. We never were anything anyways. Don’t worry, I won’t try to screw your happiness up,” he remarks bitterly and wrenches himself out of Elijah’s grasp. He lets him. 

Something in him breaks as Kol leaves, something of loss and pain and anguish and care and guilt. The thought of losing Kol burns in his chest; he needs to be by Kol’s side, needs to hold him and protect him when he’s vulnerable. He needs to take care of Kol and he can’t have his brother pushing him away. He won’t let Kol suffer anymore because of family, especially not because of him. 

He hastily follows Kol out of the bed in a trance. He grasps Kol by his arm and pulls him back before he leaves. He leans into his brother and kisses him before Kol throws him off. Kol is stiff and unresponsive, his body tense for flight. But he stays, unsure, and Elijah decides without thinking that for once he will follow his desires without minding the consequences. 

He pulls away just enough to whisper, “I do love you. Enough to want you and want the best for you. I don’t know how to do right by you, but teach me how to, Kol. Teach me, brother. Teach me how to not hurt you.”

The response is Kol’s soft lips falling onto his, and his heart curls at the silent agreement. He is grateful, so very grateful that he has this chance to rectify his faults. He is grateful that Kol allows him to try. 

Between the fluttering kisses, he traces a silent promise in their shared breath: I won’t dare let you down anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fear this may be a bit rushed, but I'm very busy these days and I wanted to get something out. Also, I needed to get Kol and Eijah together. Comments are welcomed!


	10. A Swell of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff before the angsty fluff. Skipped to two weeks after ch.9.

Rebekah had noticed the changes immediately after he and Kol finally had their talk two weeks ago, and Freya soon after.

 

Elijah had spent that day lounging in his bed with Kol. He didn’t want their relationship to just be about the physical aspects, and Kol seemed to understand that without hearing it from him, and had snuggled with him under the comforters and the comfort of each other’s presence. 

 

It was a quiet afternoon, the sun vaguely shining through the thin layer of curtains from his windows, the warmth making them drowsy. They’d shared a short nap, and had woken up to each other’s fond smiles. He’d spent the rest of the day reading aloud old poems from some bygone era to Kol, whispering odd lines into Kol’s ear and pressing kisses along his forehead and stroking his hair, carefully etching his soft smiles and light eyes into some deep part of his mind. 

 

When the sun had faded into darkness and blurred the letters, they had set the book aside and kissed again. It wasn’t urgent and desperate. That time, they’d smiled as their lips met, playfully chasing and pecking each other, each kiss a promise for more. 

 

And when he’d pulled away to light the bedside lamp when it had become too dark, Kol willingly talked about his nightmares. He’d held his brother as comfortingly as he could while he whispered of fear of death and guilt for Davina. His gaze had been distant, and though Elijah did not know what Kol was relieving, when Kol slept just a little less fitfully that night, he knew that it was not too late for them. 

 

He’d been basking in nostalgia and hope that day, and he still is. The feeling of dull, constant joy is so foreign to him that he does not know how to feel about it except to feel mildly happy.

 

Kol seemed to share the sentiment, and after that day, his brother has become his shade that follows him everywhere. 

 

When he’s in the library, Kol is at the other armchair, scribbling some profanity or spells, or looking at the bookcases for anything that might pique his interest. When their family are together, his food fighting squabbles with Rebekah is just a little less, and Kol is quicker to sit down on the floor beside Elijah, who fled with Freya to the living room as they always do. The kitchen and the fridge is faring much better, and the way Kol sits on the floor reminds him of a well trained but mischievous dog. It is beyond him how his brother is fine throwing flours and peppers to his little sister, but knows better than to ruin the sofas.

 

He’s sometimes surprised at the domesticity that they did not have even as children, but he’s thankful for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm expecting the Mikaelson sisters to appear more from now on, with likely more dialogue. Not sure when I'll update again, but I'll try.


	11. Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short fluff. I want to make it insanely cheesy, but oh well, I must refrain myself.

Their relationship is tentative, and they are happy. 

 

Happiness. Elijah’s almost afraid of it. Of his thousand years of life, whenever he was happy, his heart was always ripped to shreds. Happy endings were cut short or have gone bitter for him, and he knew that he was simply too dangerous to be allowed to feel something as mundane as happiness. 

 

But Elijah’s human born mind is relentless and unlearning, and it wants to be happy. He wants it terribly, so he indulges himself, convincing himself that he’ll pull himself back together if tragedy and anguish strikes again. He tries to believe he can pull all of his family out of whatever mess they land themselves in, if the time comes. It’s almost working. He’d do anything to protect the joys of his siblings, and it’s hard to not be optimistic when he looks at Kol’s smiles. 

 

Caught in his thoughts, he barely realized Kol was coming to his room when he was met with the smirk that he was just imagining about. 

 

“Elijah, what are you brooding about now?” He finds himself wearing a smile without realizing it, and lets himself pulled into a back hug. 

 

“Nothing of importance, darling. What have you been up to?”

 

“While you were staring a hole into the garden? Trying to sabotage our dear sisters of course. ”

 

“Kol,” He shoots him a look of disapproval, and he almost does, but he knows he looks too lighthearted to pull it off. 

 

“I was helping them!” Kol mumbled into his shoulders, and pulls away to gesture his innocence. “Freya’s trying to do some study in magic, and Rebakah’s obviously no good so I just helped her. Do you know how much knowledge I picked up from my estranged adventurous years?”

 

“Oh? Do I even want to know?”

 

“Elijah, you wound me. I’m a perfect angel.”

 

“Perfect? Are you sure? Perhaps a fallen one at that. You were such an adorable demonic toddler.”

 

“Elijah!”

 

“In denial, are we?

 

“No!” Kol says indignantly, and he thinks that his little brother has no right to be quite so adorable for a grown man. He tugs him into his arms with fondness and wonder.

 

“You know brother, I don’t believe that I could stand losing you for so long again. Three centuries, Kol. Three centuries. Life is emptier when you are daggered or away.”

 

“Well. I would say that I agree to the sentiment, but seeing as I’m the more often daggered one…”

 

“I know, dear. I’m sorry.”

 

“Doesn’t matter now. We were a little more different then. And as for my travelings, don’t think I’d bother scampering off like that again, though. There’s no point in it now.” He replies with a soft smile, and Elijah leans into the inviting warmth that is Kol, kissing the melancholic look off his face. 

 

That is how they spend that afternoon, trading lazy kisses and mapping out each other’s mouth and nuzzling each other’s hair, cheek, and neck. They scent each other, and Elijah feels the soft breath fluttering against his skin and his senses with the warmth of early summer. All Elijah can do is to hold him just a little closer, and he is content doing nothing more than being in Kol’s presence.


	12. Darling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time, it's Elijah who has nightmares. Thankfully, Kol is there. And Elijah realizes something very important.

They’re testing their waters when another nightmare hits them. Only this time, it is Elijah that is shivering and trembling. 

 

Met with the sight of the Red Door and his past sins, he feels the taunts of those he slayed. 

 

“- You’re the monster of them all”, his mind whispers. The darkness is in the form of Tatia, of Katrina, of his Mother, Mikael, Marcel, Gia, Aya, Celeste; He thinks he sees Hayley for a flickering second before it turns into Kol, and then warps into another face long gone - someone’s whispering his name, another voice, another sound - 

 

“Elijah!”

 

Kol’s voice jolts him awake, and he sits there in a painful stupor. He’s hazy, disoriented, the senses too much - the silk too smooth, linen too rough, his breathing too loud though he can’t focus enough to stop himself from habitual breathing, his heart beating too loud and he feels another pulse above him and for heaven’s sake why does his room smell so dusty - until he registers Kol. 

 

His brother smothers him, laying completely over his body, making them intertwined underneath the sheets. He’s grounding. Everything about him is. He focuses on Kol’s scent, pulse, and weight, focuses on where their body meets and how he feels, until all he senses is Kol and Kol alone. He’s acutely aware of how hard Kol’s gripping his shoulders, of the flex of his muscles as he breaths, and the dull weight of his legs thrown over his own. Realizing how paralyzed and rigid he is, he pries his hands from the sheets and tiredly places them over Kol’s smooth back. He’s almost hesitant to touch.

 

He feels dirty. Vile. Disgusting. He’s not what his siblings should look up to. He’s a failure. Useless. 

 

But then he feels Kol releasing his shoulders and snaking his arms around him with a sigh. He burrows himself deeper into Elijah’s chest, almost as if he’s trying to reassure himself, and some illogical part of Elijah’s brain suggests that he must be doing something right if Kol is here. 

 

He must be, if Kol loves him. 

 

He tries to get Kol to raise his head, nosing at his hair. He stubbornly refuses, rubbing his face at the crook of Elijah’s neck, brushing his lips over his adam’s apple.  
Hoisting himself up, he flips them over so that Kol is underneath him. Kol grunts, but doesn’t let go of him and Elijah straddles him, whispering sweet nothings in his ears, murmuring his thanks and apologies. 

 

Soon, Kol’s loosened up and is finally looking at him with such sorrow and innocence that he doesn’t really know how to react but to kiss him. Kol’s youthful face is almost too vulnerable. He looks a little too young and rather too old at the same time, and he imagines that he himself looks just about the same. 

 

He takes his time kissing Kol, capturing Kol’s lips in a soft but passionate manner, nipping at his lips, licking the insides of his mouth and tasting every inch of it. He cradles Kol’s face with one hand while stroking his back with the other. It is bittersweet, but it is still golden - precious because they denied each other for such a long time. 

 

Hearing Kol’s whimpers and groans, feeling the wetness of their lips, being overwhelmed by their scents so infused and so strong that it is almost tastable and tangible, he realizes exactly what he has been feeling. He knows one thing with clarity now. 

 

Caring for his siblings has been the entirety of his life so he has been slow to notice, but he now realized that there is only one person that appears in his mind whenever there is peril: Kol. Just now, in the haze of fear and anger in his dreams, he wanted Kol without a coherent thought - wanted his presence and warmth. 

 

It is his brother that he always first and foremost seeks of internally. It is Kol that his mind always drifts towards, for any instances of his life. 

 

And yes: He loves Kol. He loves his little brother.

 

And miraculously, Kol is his. He loves Elijah back, and he is that someone that will not betray him or leave him. His brother, his darling one, his and only his to take. He’s almost embarrassed that it took him so long to clarify it. 

 

He’s brought out of his euphoric daze when Kol bites his lips and tugs at his hair. Kol must have sensed his kisses getting much messier and desperate, and is matching him back with equal fervor. 

 

The traces of hesitancy are expelled from both of them; one thing leads to another, and it’s as easy as breathing. Unnecessary for survival, but a habit that the body falls upon so that it feels almost natural. Deceiving enough to fool a vampire’s body into thinking it is necessary. And he needs Kol, needs to mark his body and hear his moans and whines, to take him apart and let himself be lost in Kol’s body, so that he can claim Kol to be his. 

 

Elijah lets his self-control go, and is almost delirious with want. Both are still haunted by the mirage of the past, but neither of them needs to face the horror that they are, so they ground each other with every kiss and touch and bite. 

 

Soon, he’s ripping off Kol’s joggers and t-shirt in a blur, his own nightshirt already wrenched apart on the floor beside the burst buttons. 

 

He wants to take it slow and sweet, but they’re both too far gone to stop. They fight with their tongues and teeth, grasping and scratching everywhere, trying to get their skins in contact as much as possible. Regaining some of his self control, Elijah orders him to stay as he is, latching onto Kol’s nipples, sucking and kneading them between his deft fingers. It is familiar, as they have bedded each other several times before, but never has he been so ecstatic. Kol is exceptionally reactive today, so Elijah knows that Kol shares the same sentiment. After sucking his hard nipples red and over-sensitive, he kisses Kol all over, trying to taste every last piece of him and biting him where he knows will make him keen and whimper and mewl.

 

It’s almost torture for Kol, he knows, to be teased so. It’s slower than what Kol would often want, but he wants to make love, not fuck. His brother must be cherished. So he pours Kol all of his love and devotion, wishing he could just swallow his brother whole.

 

He’s somehow managed to pull away from Kol for a second, and is sitting between Kol’s thighs in wonder at the wreck he already created. Though not long has passed yet, Kol is already deliriously desperate from all the bitings and scrapings to his nipples and neck and inner thighs.

 

“Elijah, oh, Elijah,...I...gods, please, brother.”  
“Shh, shh, darling. I’ll take care of you. You know I will.”

 

“...‘Lijah, please, ...please, anything… I need you inside me.”

 

Kol holds himself open as he starts begging, his fingers splayed across his asscheeks as his fingertips spread his pink hole, and Elijah thinks it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. If he had Niklaus’s talents, he would have drawn Kol like this hundred times and over. Legs obscenely wide without anything to force it open, struggling to keep them open just for him. He is the loveliest shade of pink, the slight blush all over the expanse of pale, smooth skin, and his little puckered hole is twitching, waiting to be touched and breached. His cock is already thick and leaking milky precum, and he feels heady with the rushing urge to take and plunder. Gods, look at this fucking marvel in front of him, blushing like a virgin but begging like a slut.

 

He runs his hands through’s Kol’s open thighs, smoothing over the glistening spots of pink fast fading away from the dull red it was just moments ago. Staring at Kol’s his desperate eyes, he bends Kol’s pliant legs even further, leaning them closer to Kol’s chest so that he can reach up and run his fingers across Kol’s plump lips. He feels Kol’s tongue fervently sucking the fingers held to his lips, and his mind runs off to thinking of all the things those lips and tongue can do and have done. Soon, he lowers his hand to circle around Kol’s rim, slowly pushing a finger in. He feels Kol flinching around his finger and places his free hand over his brother’s hand, helping him keep himself open. 

 

“Alright?” He asks as he pushes in a second finger and probes inside, swirling his fingers and crooking to touch his sweet spot. 

 

“Ah - gods, yes, ...yes, come on, ‘Lijah, please, oh - stop teasing -”

 

“Tell me, brother. What would you like? Inside of you, you say? I’m afraid you’re going to have to be a tad more exact.” The resulting soft moan and the shudder around his finger is a delicious sensation, and he is so, so hasty to loosen Kol up.

 

“What shall I do with you, you wanton thing? He whispers into Kol’s pink ears, watching him tremble with pleasure as he adds a third finger.  
“Shall I bend you over my bed or tie you up on the bedpost? Or gag your mouth with my cock and make you choke until you cry? I think you’ll be a good cockwarmer for me, my dear.” He growls out, unable to stop himself.

 

He thrusts his fingers inside of the soft, inviting flesh again and again, and after two, three, four fingers, he takes a moment to enjoy the sight of the fluttering hole, scissoring it open one last time before pulling his fingers out to finally rip his pants off and touch his own neglected member. He pours a liberal amount of lube on his cock and over Kol’s hole, hasty to get inside his brother but unwilling to unnecessarily hurt him. 

 

“You didn’t answer, Kol. How do you want to be taken?” he asks one last time, his cock already lined up against Kol’s hole, barely brushing the tip of it. 

 

“Gods, Elijah. Please, I - anything, everything, I don’t care. Please, just fuck me now.” He moans out, squirming against him.

 

So he eases himself in, relishing in the tight heat as Kol wraps his legs around his waist and pulls him in closer. They frantically kiss as Elijah starts to move, their senses driving them mad. Everything sounds too loud and too good, and through the creaking bed and rustling sheets, he hears Kol moaning and mewling for him, and he feels securely wrapped in his legs and voice. He’s leaning on his forearms placed beside Kol’s head, and as he shifts a little to smooth Kol’s damp curls, he feels Kol tensing and nearly melting under him. He takes care to fuck him over and over again at that angle, hitting his sweet spot that he remembered so well from years ago. 

 

He nibbles on Kol’s slender neck, letting out a throaty moan as his stomach feels wetter from Kol’s precum. He’s acutely aware of his brother’s dick rubbing against his stomach, and he knows Kol is close, even without proper touching. He looks up to look into Kol’s lust hazed eyes, and they look at each other with wonder and lust as he fucks him with abandon. Pounding into the soft heat, Elijah grasps Kol’s curls and tilts his head up. Gaining a silent approval, he bites into Kol’s jugular and quickens his pace even more as he tastes Kol, who tastes so sweet and rich in his mouth. His amplified scent is so lovely and untainted with the usual hate and fear that through his lust riddled brain, he’s so afraid that it’ll warp into something bitter in a moment. 

 

Soon, he feels Kol’s heels digging into his back, his muscles tightening in anticipation. He draws back to watch Kol paint their stomachs white, feeling a surge of love and adoration as he sees Kol lost in the sensations of his orgasm. He can't get enough of those fluttering eyelids and long lashes, and the whining voice that moans “‘lijah” like a mantra. 

He moves gently to let his brother ride out his orgasm, and laps at the quickly closing wound. Licking over the blood that trickled over Kol’s chest and shoulder, he chases his own orgasm, feeling Kol clenching and unclenching to help him because he's too tired to move. His pace becoming more and more erratic until he spills into Kol, marking his insides. Reluctant to pull out, he lies on brother, resting his head between the crook of his neck and shoulder. He feels Kol’s arms wrap around him and his lips gently pressed into his hair.

 

They lie there in comfortable silence until Kol gently turns to lie on his side, letting Elijah’s cock slip out.

 

Their stomach feels rather sticky, but Elijah is content lying in Kol’s arms and has no intention of moving. Soon, they’re laughing a little at each other’s ruffled hair, and Elijah jokingly glares at him when Kol remarks on how terrible it is with a cheeky smirk. They almost bicker about who pulls off the sex-hair better until they’re kissing again, smiling into it.

 

“I think I’d rather be insulted if you have a nightmare after a mind blowing sex like that, Elijah.” Kol says with a fond smile. 

 

“Well, don’t I always try my best to not insult you, darling?”

 

“Oh, sure you do.”

 

“I’m quite certain I’m the one who takes care of manners for this entire family, Kol.”

 

“Yes, well, Mr. Manners, those are small details. And I think you should sleep, Elijah. I know how you value rest, you old man.” 

 

Out of impulse, Elijah whispered, “I love you,” before his brother fell asleep. The result was a wide eyed Kol, who hugs him even tighter and mutters an “I love you” back. 

 

***

Elijah didn’t have any nightmares for the rest of that night. Instead, his mind mulled on the revelation of his emotions and the possibilities that lied on their future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I'm busy with school, and it just had to be lengthier than the other chapters. Hopefully it's all coherent, as it's basically a pretty rough draft. Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are appreciated!


	13. Just another day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff and thoughts from Elijah, not to mention some brother-sister talk.

He only came down stairs to pick up the book he left in the living room on the night before. What he didn’t expect to see was Rebekah painting her nails on one of the couches. 

“Elijah,” Rebekah starts, her eyes still focused on getting her nails right. “So what are you doing with our brother dearest?”

If Elijah is a little taken aback by this in 8 in the morning, he does well not to show it. 

“Well, it is as it is, Rebekah. Whatever you’re thinking is likely correct.”

“Ok, so you’re banging each other. But really, so this whole thing. It’s real? An actual committed relationship?” she asks with a degree of incredulity that leaves him cringing. Just a little bit.

“Yes, sister. Though you could work on your language.”

“Says the guy fucking his younger brother?” she retorts, pointing her nail polish brush at him.

“Rebekah - ”

“Shut it, Elijah. Don’t think I didn’t hear all that moaning. And it’s fine, we all did worse than having sex within our hearing distance. I just wanted to know for sure. I know you had Hayley and stuff, and I know you cared about her. I thought she made you the happiest in a long time and she’s not bad, she’s our niece’s mother after all. But you and Kol? That wanker makes you so obviously happy that it’s astounding and a little creepy.”

She shoots him a shiteating, mischievous grin that makes him wonder what she will possibly do in the near future, but he figures that he can take that much ribbing.

“Is it quite that obvious?” He smiles.

“Yes, my dear thick headed brother. But you know, you have to figure out what you’re going to do with Hayley. She’s family too.”

“I know, sister.”

“Fine, well, just one thing - don’t you dare hurt him. Kol’s a bloody idiot but he’s our idiot.” His sister’s voice is fond and threatening, and for the first time in ages he’s happy to hear his sister threaten him. 

“I won’t dare, Rebekah. You know that.” he affirms. 

“Good. Now, I’m going to hang out with Freya and gossip about you two, so keep your boytoy out of the kitchen and generally anywhere around us and be disgusting together somewhere else.”

He considers leaving some snide remark in reply before deciding he’s better off spending that time fetching Kol. Perhaps they’ll take a stroll in the garden. 

“See you later, Rebekah.” 

He picks up his book from the couch and he leaves her with a smirk on his face. He walks back to his bedroom where he left Kol sleeping.

Quietly opening his door, he sees that Kol is still asleep. Kol’s hair is everywhere as if it’s expressing the hyperactive energy he has when he’s awake. Elijah can’t help the feeling of fondness brewing in his chest when he looks at him. He briefly considers letting him sleep in before waking him up with a prodding kiss. Kol mutters something incomprehensible and frowns, so he gently opens the curtains to let the light in, intending to let Kol wake himself up. 

He sits leaning against the headboard, running his fingers through Kol’s soft hair. He’s glad his sisters approve, but Rebekah mentioning Hayley once again reminded him of what he has to do. He’s not sure how to break the news to her, assuming they ever wake up. 

What to tell a woman who’s saving your entire family’s life that what they have will only ever be platonic, familial love? 

Not to mention how Kol and Hayley will interact with each other. He still remembers Kol’s anger, lashing out to him about how he will hate Hayley like he did with Marcellus. How broken he had sounded, admitting that he hated Freya for Davina and that he thinks his own niece would learn to hate him, not love him. He can only hope that his love is enough now. Miraculously Kol didn’t hold Davina against him, and he knows Kol forgave Freya at some point - the smiles Freya shoot at Kol and the crooked grins he send back are proof of that - so he thinks that he’s helping Kol heal. The rest will be better all in due time. He’ll make sure of that. He won’t fail Kol, not again. Not ever. 

While he’s caught in his thoughts, Kol finally opens his bleary eyes and groggily frowns at the sunlight. Elijah notices and pulls his hand out of Kol’s hair to shield his brother’s eyes from the sunlight, smiling at his laziness.

“Kol, it’s time to wake up. Regardless of what the human folklores tell, we’re not actually nocturnal.” He jokes, pushing down the worries and stress deep down. There’ll be time to examine them later.

“Go away, ‘Lijah. I‘m tired. Your fault anyways.”

“Mine? We both know that’s an excuse, brother.”

“If you’d just let me sleep - ”

“If you hadn’t begged, or did we forget about yesterday? And remember, we don’t get tired from physical activities anymore.”

“Fine, fine. Yes, I’m up. Happy, Elijah?”

“Very, darling. Now go and get dressed. I believe our sisters are kicking us out of this household for today.”

“What? What for?”

“Well, Rebekah and I had a conversation this morning and informed me that she would like some sisterly bonding time,” he answers vaguely. 

“Right. Sure. Like they weren’t doing that already,” Kol muttered suspiciously.

“She also mentioned that they were both aware and supportive of our relationship, and would like to, I quote, gossip about us while we be disgusting together somewhere else.”

“Huh. Well, alright then. Let’s get away from those wankers.”

“I was thinking we’d head out to the garden. Do whatever you want there.”

“Whatever I want, you say? We’d best be going then,” Kol said, changing out of his sleepwear, grinning cheekily at him. “Hope you don’t mind getting grass stains all over your suit,” he exclaims as he grabs onto Elijah’s hand and pulls him outside of the house. 

It’s going to be a lovely day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been so long you guys!! How's everyone doing with the Originals coming back? Can't believe Kol and Rebekah's out of the picture for a while.


	14. HIATUS

Hello people, 

First of all, 60 kudos- WOW. Kolijah was such a minor ship that I did not have much hopes of getting a lot of readers, but 60. Thank you. 

Second, I'm sorry for the long pause. But I decided I'm going to state hiatus and leave this fic here for now, because after the S4 finale.... I kind of lost my kolijah feels right now. I always loved Kolvina, and now that she's alive I'm not too compelled to write about Kol and Elijah together at the moment. 

Also, the finale was insane. I was micro-analyzing all the characters, and after Kol having his happy ending for now and Elijah spiraling into darkness and having a sort of suicide through memory loss(which ironically made him happier than ever), I really wanted to explore this "new Elijah". How much of his former self does he retain? How much did he change? What is Elijah Mikaelson now? What does he know about himself? Questions, questions.

So, expect a oneshot from Klaus's perspective during that piano scene in the finale, and a lengthier fic about Elijah after the compulsion(which may or may not lead up to Hope finding a way to reunite everyone and all that) from me. And I promise I'll come back to this fic, but this is all I can promise for now.

Again, thanks for reading this fic up to now. :)


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